When a parent is arrested, the adults in the family are dealing with a lot: phone calls, paperwork, and worry. But kids are feeling it too. They may have seen the arrest, overheard a conversation, or simply noticed that mom or dad did not come home. How you talk to them in these first days can help them feel safe.
Every family and every child is different. These are general tips from a family that has been through hard times. If your child is struggling, reach out to a school counselor, pediatrician, or family therapist.
Be Honest, in Words They Can Understand
Kids can usually tell when something is wrong. Making up a story often makes them more worried, and they may feel hurt later when they learn the truth. Use simple, honest words that fit their age.
- Young children: “Dad made a mistake and has to talk to some people about it. He is safe, and we are working on getting him home.”
- Older kids: “Mom was arrested. That means the police think she may have broken a law. Now a court will look at what happened. We are helping her.”
- Teens: Teens can handle more detail. Answer their questions honestly while keeping private details private.
Tell Them It Is Not Their Fault
Children sometimes believe they caused bad things to happen. Say it clearly: “This is not your fault. Nothing you did caused this.”
Let Them Know What Happens Next
Not knowing is scary. Give them a simple picture of what comes next: who will take care of them, who will pick them up from school, and when they might talk to or see their parent. If you are working on bail, you can tell them, “We are working on getting Dad home.”
Keep Routines as Normal as Possible
Routines help kids feel safe. Try to keep school, bedtime, meals, and activities as normal as you can. Familiar routines tell kids that life is still steady.
Let Them Feel What They Feel
Kids may feel sad, angry, embarrassed, or confused. All of that is normal. Let them talk, cry, or ask the same question more than once. You do not need to have every answer. Sometimes, “I don’t know yet, but I will tell you when I do” is the best answer.
Help Them Stay Connected
If the parent is still in jail, a video visit or phone call can help a child feel better. Read our guide on calls and visits at Sedgwick County Jail. Before a visit, prepare your child for what they will see and hear.
Be Careful What They Overhear
Try to have adult conversations about charges, money, and court when the kids are not around. Also be careful about what is shared on social media, since older kids and their friends may see it.
Let the School Know, if You Feel Comfortable
A quick, private note to a teacher or school counselor can help. They can keep an eye out for changes in behavior and offer support during the school day.
Bringing a Parent Home Quickly
One of the best things for kids is getting their parent home as soon as possible. Eastep Bail Bonds is a family owned company. We understand what your family is going through, and we work fast to reunite parents with their children.
Eastep Bail Bonds is a bail bond company. We are not attorneys and we do not give legal advice. If you need legal advice, please contact Warrior Lawyers.
Call Eastep Bail Bonds 24/7 at (316) 391-3723.
